Free Christian Counseling

In this hub you will find 10 tips to help Christians to resolve their marriage conflicts. You may need to seek outside help from Christian counseling services if the conflict is serious enough or you are unable to successfully work through the problem on your own. These principles are meant to only be guidelines to help if you believe you can work through an issue without outside assistance.

Don't just wait for the discussion to happen. If you do that there is a good chance that it will come up at the wrong time and at the wrong place. That time and place may be when you are at your worst and instead of being productive could be counter productive. So decide on a specific place and a specific time to discuss the issue at hand.

Get as specific a definition of the problem as you can. Don't try to deal with multiple problems at the same time. Pick one, and the most urgent one. You might even find it beneficial to the both of you to write the problem down on a piece of paper. That way both of you can see it and be reminded of what you intend to focus on.

Each of you should talk about how you are making the problem a problem. Or how you are making the problem worse. It is not your job to tell how your mate is contributing to the problem. That's what we usually do in our marital conflicts. The key here is for you to think about what you are going to make matters worse. It is never a one way street. So focus on your own behavior not that of your marriage partner.

Write down what you have tried in the past to fix the problem but has not worked. The goal here is not to blame someone for failing to resolve the matter but to keep the attention on the problem. One other thing that it does is to give you insight into what else you might need to do to come to some resolution. Some couples will do the same thing over and over again sometimes over many years and it never works. As you have heard said it is insanity to continue to do the same thing and expect a different result. So if you can determine what has not worked you can turn your attention to finding what will work.

If the problems are serious and seem insurmountable, you may want to seek free Christian counseling services.

Just two reiterate rate what was said in the previous paragraph, here you need to list different and better ways to work through the problem. Remember to stay focused on the problem you had previously defined and think about what you can do to help rather than any changes that your spouse should make.

Once you have a list written down of new strategies that you can employ talk together about which ones make the most sense and seem like they would help the most. Choose one or more that you want to do.

Come to an agreement between yourselves of exactly how you are going to initiate these new strategies and commit yourself to doing it.

Don't forget to pray together. Christian couples have powerful resources available to them that others do not. That includes faith and the power of God. There are some things that we just cannot do by ourselves. As Christians we believe that God is able to work beyond ourselves in ways that we do not fully comprehend. Through our prayers we express our faith in God that he will work in our best interest. It would be a shame for Christian couples not to avail themselves of what God would freely do in their marriage

Nine, at some point set up another time and place to get together for the singular purpose of discussing how things are going. Talk about whether or not you believe things are improving or if you need to go back to the beginning of the process and work through some new solutions once again.

If things have gotten better it is important for you to celebrate the accomplishment. Find something that you both would enjoy and experience as a reward for your success.

Finally, if you are continually getting stuck or find that you are unable to work through these steps in a reasonably successful way that probably tells you that you need to seek some professional advice. Many churches now have Christian counseling centers that have licensed Christian marriage counselors who could be of help to you. By doing some searching online you can even find Christian phone counseling and other means of Christian counseling online. There is help for Christian marriage conflicts.